Tara's Blog - Don't Give Up

Cancer is tricky, and it's extremely smart, so when it realizes that the medicine you're taking is trying to kill it off, it finds a way to live.

Unfortunately, that's what happened to my cancer once again since my last update in February. About 2 months ago, I had a PET scan done to see how treatment was working. It turns out that the activity in the tumor started increasing, and the intensity doubled since my scans a few months before that. Surgery was essentially out of the question, because the risk of cutting into an active tumor would only complicate my recovery. I was absolutely bummed out. Surgery has been my goal since day one and I thought i was ready. But, my doctors asked what I wanted to do (more chemotherapy, more radiation, just radiation, etc) so I decided to continue on with any treatment that they thought was best for me, even if that included more chemotherapy and radiation.

During the time that my oncologists were researching another drug to use and another more localized radiation treatment, the tumor grew and grew. My cancer is extremely aggressive and once you give it an inch, it will go a mile. I could tell the cancer started to take things from me again: my energy, my appetite, my muscle mass, and my overall health. Within one month, I was taking pain medication every night just to be able to sleep. I could not do my usual workout routine everyday, my daily walks were out of the question, and I was losing 2-3 pounds a week just from loss of appetite alone. Because I was in so much pain and to also get more specific information on what was going on with the tumor, one of my surgeons, Dr. Lubawski, removed a part of the tumor that was growing on my ribs in order to complete a biopsy that will help us find a more targeted medicine for the tumor. This alone took away so much of my pain, I was so grateful. The day after that surgery, my oncologist called and had me immediately start on a new medicine called Pazopanib. It is a new drug they are using in a clinical trial at Northwestern University, and is used on many patients with sarcomas. This medicine is not necessarily a chemotherapy drug. It is actually a medication that completely halts the blood supply of the tumor and essentially starves the cancer. This makes the tumor shrink, and boy, did it shrink.

THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER GIVE UP. 1 week later (that's right, 1 week after starting this new medication), the tumor shrunk more than half of the size it was when I had the biopsy! All of the pain I was experiencing, the loss of energy, it all started to reside. I couldn't believe it. When the cancer grows, it eats first, meaning it takes all of your nutrients that you would be getting from the food you eat and keeps it for itself. But as it kept shrinking, I started to feel my body get stronger and really get back the energy I was originally supposed to be getting from the food I ate. I take this medication every night, and so far, I have not had any severe side effects. The first couple days I was a bit nauseous and had a pretty big loss of appetite, but 2 weeks later, I am pretty much back to normal. I still cannot believe it. NEVER. GIVE. UP. Just because you believe things are really bad at one point, doesn't mean they have to stay that way.

Just 3 weeks ago I was in so much pain that I could barely get through the day. I felt helpless, like my body was giving up. I hardly talked to my friends, my family could barely get me to stop crying, I didn't understand why things were taking such a bad turn. But, I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. I didn't give up. I knew things weren't going to end like this. They couldn't. God answers my prayers, He always does. So when I started that medicine and finally started feeling like myself again, I knew it was because of Him.

So, 3 weeks ago I was in probably one of the worst states of mind that I had been in in a while. But fast forward to today, and things are turning around. My oncologists are so amazed at how fast the medication is working, and they are excited for me to see Dr. Lubawski once again, so we can have his opinion on what he believes we should do next. Maybe surgery for sure this time. Who knows! This journey is a constant roller coaster, but it wouldn't be fun without a few twists and turns now would it?