The Healing Power of Self-Care While Grieving

This morning, I woke up to do what I try to do every morning; send the hubby off to his day job, prayers, read the Quran, followed by a work-out routine, yoga, shower and some holistic treatments I like to do before beginning my day job. I make it my intention to start each day with new vigor. My self-care includes these things, as well as others like reading, crafting, connecting/enjoying nature, taking my dog for a walk or even some retail therapy.

Everyone grieves differently; I am heartbroken and exhausted. I feel the need to get back into my routine and make it all “normal” again. I first learned of this need in me when it was discovered that my youngest son was born with a brain injury and would now be epileptic. I felt powerless as a parent. My husband and I made changes in our lives at that time; much needed changes to better our health. Despite the many tests and new things going on, I felt a strong compulsion to keep to a good family routine of school, sports and healthy food. When my only daughter was diagnosed with cancer, my heart sank. That powerlessness came fighting its way back and I thought, this time I’m stronger. And I was, for the most part, or so I thought. Then the unthinkable happened. Our beautiful daughter passed away from her long fight. We tried with as much power and strength as we could muster. The icy grip of grief takes hold. With a deep breath and shaky knees, I begin once again to make things “normal”. It’s what moms do, right?   

The healing power of self-care renews my strength. It motivates me to focus and see my goals. It shifts my mood to a higher vibration. It gives me back my power. I allow myself to grieve; don’t get me wrong. I cry and cry. I choose to cry it out so that my emotions don’t get the best of me.  I think moms forget that we need to take care of ourselves too, instead of always taking care of others. I think maybe we feel like being strong is just something we have to do. Something we just have to face. An important part to me finding my power again was learning that the only control I have is how I respond to this tragedy.  As much time as we had to prepare for the unthinkable, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to give her up. I wasn’t ready to give up. These things I do every day may seem mundane to some, or even cumbersome, but I believe this work to be powerful for mental health and personal wellness. Self-care supports our body’s natural processes; our body’s “normal” processes. It’s one of the many ways I respond to this journey, because this journey is nowhere near over.

Self-care is the perfect way to celebrate my daughter’s life. She was all about health, wellness and self-development. Out of tragedy can come some great things, if we are willing to choose happiness once again. Her death has certainly taught me what is important. I am grateful and thankful beyond words. I can see her beautiful face with a smile so big it can light up the night. It’s powerful.