Letting Yourself Feel and Why This is Good for Your Health

Once in a while, we in this culture, are taught that showing any “bad” or “negative” emotions are bad to do. It’s a social no-no. We’re always told, “You’re fine. Stop crying.” Or “You have nothing to be upset about.” Yesterday, I was experiencing an emotional day and I had a situation with a cashier at my local grocery store. Rather than make an outburst to this person, who has no idea what I’m feeling or going through (nor I the same for her), I held my tongue and kept my thoughts to myself.

Now, normally, I would have barked back at her causing a scene. Instead, I knew what I was already feeling before I walked into the store. I was well aware of my emotions at all times when this conversation ensued. I was still upset, but well aware.

We know that emotions control the way we think, behave, and act. If we push away our unwanted feelings, you can be certain it will affect your health in some way in your life. An article in Psychology Today says, “for many, the primary impulse when they are experiencing unpleasant emotions is to try to escape from those feelings through alcohol, drugs, restricting food, binging, busyness, compulsive sex, or a variety of other self-harming behaviors.” Just as we know “love” emotions trigger certain chemicals and hormones in the body, “fear” (or other bad) emotions trigger certain chemicals as well. We see this quite easily with the immune system (chronic diseases and cancer) and endocrine system (adrenal fatigue syndrome). Another article I found on PubMed states, “There is some evidence that failing to grapple with negative events in everyday life ultimately leads to poor health.”

Emotions serve us just as every nutrient, function and every other process does in our bodies, yet we’re always told to suppress the bad ones. Fear, for example, makes an excellent alert system that something may be dangerous, anger energizes us that we may need to take action on something, envy empowers us to do better, and even sadness, the most pushed-away emotion, serves us to be able to move on in life. Let’s face it; being happy all the time is just unrealistic. That’s not how our systems are built. Being allowed to “feel” when experiencing illness, loss, difficulties or other changes creates profound transformations in what many describe as resulting in happier, more meaningful results.  

I wrote in my book, Tara’s Choice: A Mother-Daughter Cancer Journey, how I needed to really be present with my emotions, and this led me to active self-care/self-love. I’m blessed that after the incident yesterday, I was able to take the rest of the day off to just be present with my emotions. I ate nutritious foods, sat in the sunshine (getting that much needed vitamin d), and enjoyed nature. I just “rested” physically and emotionally. I actually went to bed for the night very early and woke up feeling far more refreshed.  

My point in all of this is, is to be present with your emotions. Know what you’re feeling and get to understand what it is that you’re supposed to learn from it. We are emotional beings, and thankfully so. Life would be pretty boring without them! Every human will experience “bad’ emotions and to not be able to deal with them is what leads to more drastic outcomes. Accepting your emotions, facing them and being present with them in order to allow yourself to “feel” is a very important, natural part of holistic, healthy living. Self-improvement and personal growth comes from accepting our own humanity with all of the emotional ups and downs.

Be the healthiest person you know!